Bringing Yourself to the Present

24 Oct

I went to another support group today. It was also helpful and left me with hope for what’s to come. I don’t know what I’d do without support. I’m sure there was a time when people had to deal with divorce without professional help and without hearing others’ stories. I don’t know how those folks made it. There are so many things I have to be grateful for.

I had a bit of a hard time today at work, and my friend gave me a helpful tip: If I find myself panicking about something about which I have no control (like his response to the divorce petition), focus on something directly in front of you and describe it. Bring yourself back to the present. I tried to focus on the building across the street from my office, but all I could think of was going in there to buy nail polish with him. I will continue to try that though.

Today’s 3 good things:

1. My friend BP. She came by to check on my pup and let him out. She also took the boxes of pictures of my husband to her house so I don’t have to have them here. My part: Cultivating this friendship. I’ve been friends with BP since the very first day we started work at our company 12 years ago. I love that girl.

2. Support groups. Wow. Strangers sharing their pain for the benefit of other strangers. It’s a beautiful thing. I shared my methods of coping, these 3 good things and my part in them. My part: Being open and realizing I need help to get through this.

3. Being productive at work! My awesome coworker AG brought an issue to my attention, and I spent some time working on figuring out the problem. I continued my momentum, and it felt great to focus 100% on work and not 80% on work, 20% on the divorce. My part: Focus? Maybe it really will get easier?

Tomorrow’s goals:

1. I’m carrying over today’s goal to tomorrow. I got home pretty late, so I didn’t get a lot of time to start the reorg.

2. Have a little perspective. Right now I feel like I’m dying and that my life is over. And yes, the most giant and important part of my life is over. But listening to other peoples’ stories makes me realize that other people have lost more than I have.

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One Response to “Bringing Yourself to the Present”

  1. stilllearning2b October 24, 2012 at 9:31 am #

    Isn’t it amazing how much we can learn and heal through stories? I think the narrative framework makes us more receptive to the advice buried within. Keep your micro-goals coming – it’s a great way to baby step your ways through the hardest days.

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