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7 Oct

SA – For letting me stay at their house the second I heard the news. For walking my dog for me. For getting license plate lights. For letting me borrow his wife for hours on end.

SFA – For nearly canceling her vacation with her husband to stay with me. Letting me vent at all hours. Texting me. Hugging me. Feeding me.

EC and RV – For letting me stay at their house and letting me bring my dog. Giving me the best hugs in the world. Talking me through what I should ask for. EC – fixing my computer.

MF – For being my mom. For sticking around, even through my ugliest.

CN – For coming and staying with me and making my house immaculate.

JF – For being my dad and for his email. For the beautiful words he said to me.

MF – For being my amazing baby brother and always making me laugh.

GV – For lending me her professional counseling ear.

ABG – For being there from the absolute beginning. Letting me hug her baby. Letting me stay at her house. Talking on the phone with me for hours on end.

WB – For not hesitating for a second when I asked her if she could stay the night with me the first night I got back from my sister’s.

CV – For driving a bazillion hours to spend a long weekend with me.

JP and DP – For having me over to their house every week to watch one of my favorite shows. For feeding me. For diagnosing my car problems.

RP – For telling me that it didn’t matter what she was doing at the moment, she’d drop it because I was more important. Bringing me chocolate. Getting my girlfriends to sign a sweet card of encouragement.

TC – For taking me to lunch, for giving me hugs.

LA – For being my divorce-partner-in-crime, for letting me vent, for being an unbelievable sister-in-law, both before and after the divorce.

BP – For letting me store my memories at her house.

AR – For talking on the phone with me for hours at nights when I couldn’t sleep, despite the fact that we hadn’t talked in about 14 years.


I Think I Figured It Out

23 Sep

Being single doesn’t suck. What sucks is dating men who can’t/don’t use their words to say thanks but no thanks. Limbo sucks. So people: seriously. If you don’t want to see someone anymore, be sure to tell him/her in a nice way. Don’t just stop communication. That’s just mean.

What I Like About Me

31 Jul

Last week our homework assignment for the divorce recovery class was to write down 20 things we like about ourselves. There was some hemming and hawing, and even this week we joked that it would be easier to write 20 things we did not like about ourselves. I said I could do 20 in 5 minutes and keep going. 

After we discussed why it’s so hard for us like ourselves, we read our lists in front of the class. I have to admit, I had a huge grin on my face while everyone read his/her list. I even found myself identifying with other items people read. It was such a confidence-building exercise. I highly encourage you to write your own list because it is such a good tool for making you realize that you are awesome.

Here’s my list of stuff I like about myself:

  1. I’m quite driven.
  2. I’m a good writer.
  3. My relationship with my family.
  4. I’m a good problem solver.
  5. My lips and my smile.
  6. I’m a pretty great friend.
  7. That I’m trying to turn this divorce into a new beginning.
  8. I’m very open and accepting.
  9. My sense of humor.
  10. I’m an excellent editor.
  11. My newfound sense of adventure.
  12. My belief that everyone deserves to be treated fairly and equally.
  13. My shoe size.
  14. I’m very tactful.
  15. That I don’t freak out about everything anymore.
  16. My love of travel.
  17. My compassion for others.
  18. I’m a good cook.
  19. My imagination.
  20. My practicality.

Some of the other stuff I copied when others were reading:

I’m grateful, loyal, creative and crafty, positive, and reliable; I can take care of myself; my positivity and humility; and I’m willing to learn from my mistakes.

It was such a good night in class. I am amazed at how we — folks who were strangers just 5 or 6 weeks ago — are taking this journey together and how we are really moving forward together. I’ve seen such wonderful changes in my classmates. One man who rarely spoke smiles now. He has a beautiful smile, and it’s awesome to see it. Another woman who could barely speak above a whisper is now showing her fun and sassy side. She is so hilarious; I love seeing this side of her personality. 

Our facilitator reminded us to be kind to ourselves. She reminded us of a quote we learned on the first day: “You don’t have to believe everything you think.”


Keep Your Head Up by Ben Howard

26 Jul

I love the lyrics to this song. My favorite parts:
“All I was searchin’ for was me.”
“It felt so good to see his face, or the comfort invested in my soul.
Oh to feel the warmth of a smile,
When he said ‘I’m happy to have you home.
Ooh I’m happy to have you home.'”